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| Thursday, May 4th, 2006 | | 8:32 pm |
I am finished with school. Finally. Wednesday I had all 4 finals back-to-back. I could have contacted my teachers to reschedule and spread it out more, but I figured getting it all done in one shot was the way to go. All 4 of them went pretty bad. I didnt even bother wasting my time studying for organic chemistry and guessed on about 75 percent of the questions. And guess what? I aced it! Just kidding, I did awful, but I expected the awfulness and really dont care. I'll never have to deal with that bullshit again! The other 3 really arent even worth mentioning, but they were tough too. Even if I flunked all of them I'll still pass, and at this point thats all I care about. Maybe thats a crap attitude, but I dont care. And maybe not caring is a crap attitude too, but fuck it! Boy, I could drag this out for hours but I'll stop there. Today I re-read all my old journals from highschool and college. As I mentioned in my last entry, I've been on this reminicing kick lately. The highschool ones were pretty funny, and apparantly I really liked writing after I smoked pot. Its funny, I was so lost back then and really needed help from someone or something, so I would start all my journal entries with "Dear God". (Hey, dont laugh!) It cracks me up to read entries like "Dear God, I had so much fucking fun tonight and I am high as a kite right now!" or "Dear God, my mom being a big bitch and stole my cigarettes! Help!" So for your entertainment I thought I'd share with you the deep thoughts running through my brain at 15 years old. September 1, 1994 Dear God, Well nothing really spectacular happened yesterday. But whooooah today! I didnt go to school again, instead Sean and I stole his sisters car and hung out with Angie Macdonald and her grumpy gumpy Italian boyfriend. I have to pee so bad but I dont want to get up and deal with mom and dad and get bitched at til 3 am. So I guess I'll wait to go to the bathroom and have something to look forward to tomorrow. I never noticed how nice my handwriting is when I'm stoned. Maybe if I need to handwrite something important someday I'll smoke some pot first and trick all those fools into thinking my handwriting is perpetual perfection. Why did my parents let me stay out til 11 tonight? Whats up with that? My handwriting is starting to get sloppy because I really need to pee. I'm going to check to see if mom is still up so I can go pee. Shit, she is. I'm giving her a half an hour. Shit! What if she falls asleep sitting up? All I can see is the back of her head from here! I have to pee so bad. I hope I never wet the bed again. It would suck if my husband rolled over next to me and into a big puddle of piss, or if I peed on him. I'd love to pee on Sean just to see what happens. | | 8:28 pm |
| | Monday, April 24th, 2006 | | 9:54 pm |
Stolen From Jodi
10 Years Ten years ago, it was early 1996. Take this survey and see how many things have changed since then. 1) How old were you? 17 2) What grade were you in? Senior year of highschool 3) Where did you go to school? Troy High 4) Where did you work? Good Food Company, the local hippie health food and vitamin store 5) Where did you live? At home with my parents in Troy, but in the house next door from where I stay now. 6) How was your hair style? Long and straight. I occasionally dyed it dark brown back then. 7) Did you wear braces? nope 8) Did you wear contacts? nope 9) Did you wear glasses? nope. 10) Who was your best friend? Heather, and I also roamed around a lot with Carrie and Julie and Mike 11) Who was your boyfriend/girlfriend? I had one big crush on someone staying 5 states away in drug rehab, and was dating/making out with random people. I dated a guy named Bill for a couple of months too, he was so cute. :( 12) Who was your celebrity crush? I cant recall, but I think I can safely say my heart belonged to Axl. 13) Who was your regular-person crush? There was a new one every couple weeks. 14) Were you a virgin? yes 15) How many piercings did you have? 7 in the ears, and thats it. 16) How many tattoos did you have? None 17) What was your favorite band/singer/rapper? A lot of stuff. I was listening to a lot of classic rock back then, and I'm pretty sure thats the year I saw Hole and Rage Against the Machine so I was probably listening to them a lot too. 18) Had you smoked a cigarette yet? yes 19) Had you gotten drunk or high yet? both 20) Had you driven yet? yes 22) Which of your pets were still alive? Ed and Kiki the cats and Sparky the rat. Sparky died in the spring of 1996 and my boyfriend at the time Bill bought me the now deceased rat Ralph. 23) Looking back, are you where you thought you would be? I'd never believe it. 24) If you could change one thing from the past 10 years what would it be? As a matter a fact, I've been thinking about the last 10 years a lot lately because its now been 10 years since I graduated from highschool, and I'm also about to graduate from college and start a new chapter in my life as a "grown up". This shit makes me get all reminicent about the decisions I've made, where I've been, who I've turned into and where I'm going. I guess if I could change something from my past I would be more careful to not get caught doing stuff (i.e. boys, drugs, alcohol, sneaking in) by my parents. I got away with a lot of stuff, but all of the times that I did get in trouble resulted in blow-out fights that destroyed my relationship with my mom, and we've never fully recovered from it. Most importantly though, I would have spent a lot more time with my dad and my grandma since my time with them was (unbeknownst to me) so limited instead of being so wrapped up in my own life and my drama. Other than those two things I dont really have many regrets, I still stand behind all of the life-altering decisions I've made, and I'm even ok with the dumb moves like the time I got stoned at church camp and then sat around eating all the chips instead of participating in the sing-along and I looked like an ass because it was soooo obvious. Anyway I have a lot of good memories from highschool because it was such a fun experimental time and I had a lot of interesting charachters as friends. And post highschool, other than that lost year I spent with Christian and the time I've spent here at school I've had some really good times on vacations, at the best job I've ever had and will have (Streamwood), with my friends and with Dan. And I dont think I'd want to mess with my past and run the risk of not having all those good things not happening. The End. | | Monday, April 3rd, 2006 | | 12:39 pm |
Okay, I've calmed down a little bit. So this past weekend I had 3 interviews to go to. My first one was for a place that was just down the street from Dans (where I'll be living for a while) and I had pretty high hopes. Heh, I cant even explain what a DUMP it turned out to be. The 'office' was a house, which is fine, but the place was just nasty and filthy. The guy who interviewed me sat me down in his office and there were papers just tacked up to the unpainted walls, the linolium underneath his chair had worn away to nothing and looked like it was going to give away any second, the whole place was just totally unprofessional and gross. My favorite part was how the office closet (obviously it had been a bedroom in its former life) had empty beer cases piled up. And the interview was so strange, he didnt have a single question for me, didnt tell me much about the position, didnt really have anything to say. He just kinda sat there and stared at me. The whole thing lasted just under 10 minutes and he told me to call him in a week. Then I had another interview to go to, a landscaping company that wanted to hire me as a 'horticultural leader'. They were really nice, really professional, close to home, and I got along really well with the guy interviewing me. This was my second interview with them and they did offer me a job, which was nice. But the pay didnt seem to be that hot, and my job would be more landscape maintenance. I'd be in charge of a small crew of people, I'd get a truck and a list of accounts, and basically I'd be going around to different places and doing all the things you do to your yard to make it look pretty with the exception of cutting the lawn. I'm ok with all this stuff but I really didnt want to use my education this way. So I have to email the guy after this to decline the offer. So the final interview I had was with historical courtyards. Its in Berkley, which is a really cool town thats pretty laid back and slightly trendy (its not quite as well known or 'hip' as some of the surrounding cities) The company is really laid back, the 2 people that interviewed me were super cool and easy to talk to. They did catch me off guard with some really weird questions (like, 'how do you react to other peoples energy?' 'coke or pepsi?' "would you consider yourself a dork? Because we are dorks" and my favorite, 'how would you react when asked to tell an itallian mobster stone mason what to do?' LOL, I know, that last one really threw me) They offered me the job pretty much right off the bat that day. Today they called to make me the offer which was a lot better than I expected. Thank God because I do not know how to negotiate. I'll get full benefits, the week of July 4th off, two weeks off in December, I'll be spending most of my time drawing and some time traveling to different sites to take measurements, surveying, etc. I'm slightly freaked out because I know that the type of designing they do is based around something called sacred geometry, which apparanty is some sort of math secret that was discovered by the masons. I have no idea what this means, and I'm a little worried because sometimes it takes time for me to grasp how to do math, but I guess I'll be learning it. Anyway, yay for me! I feel so blessed that I found something and I hope it's as good as it seems to be! | | 10:43 am |
Holy Shit!
Remember in my last entry I really wanted to work for historical courtyards? Well, today they offered me a job! And I accepted! Holy fucking shit! I'd type more but I have to go dance around! | | Friday, March 17th, 2006 | | 3:51 am |
I dont think I'm cut out for pulling all-nighters anymore. Its almost 4 am and I have to stay up until 8 to drop off a report thats due in my professors mailbox. Then I have to head right out to Troy to try to get a couple hours of sleep in before an appointment at 1:30. Blah. I'm in the midst of finding my first big-girl job. Last weekend I had my second interview with English Gardens as a designer. In my first interview I had to take an hour long test which was basically to see if I know my plants. The second interview involved another test that put me on the spot for rendering (a fancy term for coloring and shading landscape designs) and drawing out a quick design. I ended up not doing so hot - I froze up on the drawing out a quick design part because that stuff can take a lot of thought, so I didnt get as far as I should have. And I bombed the coloring part. All they gave me to color with were these markers that, from what I've experienced, are tough as shit to work with. Its really hard to work with a big fat tip on a marker, and not only that but to color in little circles and shade with them and they bleed all over the place so nothing stays within the lines. I dont know if this makes sense but trust me, its not easy. Anyhow,I didnt get the job. They told me they like to have their employees start out in other positions before being a designer, and offered me another job as some sort of warranty coordinator.I would go out to different sites where plants didnt live through the warrenty period, inspect them, figure out what went wrong, decide what should go in instead and then tell the crew to go replace stuff. Which doesnt sound totally bad, really. The pay wasnt terrible to start out, and it comes with full benefits. But I would be using my own car to go everyplace, and thats a LOT of driving, and Im not so sure my car would be up for the challange. So I turned it down. Plus I bet I'd be dealing with some pissed off people who are not happy with dead plants, and theres only so much of that I can take. I didnt really want to work for that company that much anyway but I was still felt kind of like a loser for not making it in. Im over it now, but, you know... I have 2 more interviews this weekend, and one of them I would LOVE to work for even though I have no idea what they pay or if they offer benefits. But the work they do is really amazing, they specialize in antique homes and estates that are on at least 1/2 an acre, ususally more. I seriously HIGHLY doubt they would hire me because it seems really prestigious and the requirements are way more than what I have to offer. But I guess it cant hurt to try, and they were really nice on the phone. If your interested in seeing what they do check them out at http://www.historicalcourtyards.comWish me luck! | | Tuesday, January 31st, 2006 | | 11:49 am |
Hooray makeup!
If you guys like abusing your makeup privledges as much as I do, you may find makeupalley.com a fun site. I discovered some great new products that I wanted to try through it, and they rate pretty much every brand known to man! So while we're on the subject I thought I'd share some gems I've found that help conceal what my questionable lifestyle has done to my poor face. If you havent tried Suave shampoos line of 'professionals' I HIGHLY recommend it, its been totally responsible for the 90+ consecutive good hair days I've had since I started using it in November. I looked it up on makeup alley, and not everyone is crazy about it. But at 1.50 a bottle you dont have much to lose anyway! I like the clarifying shampoo, and also the amplifying and the humectrant shampoo and conditioner. Maybelline full n soft mascara is my new favorite thing! I stopped using mascara a while back because it seems like the population of my lashes is going down, and I hate sticky feeling thick clumpy mascara-coated lashes. This stuff goes on amazing and your lashes are so soft after you put it on! Another bargin buy at 5 bucks. Clean and Clear moisturizer is (from what I've found) the only moisturiser that doesnt break me out or leave me feeling greasy, it seems like it sinks in within 5 minutes and I love it. I'd write more but am out of time! If you guys have any suggestions on great stuff I'd love to hear about it! | | Friday, January 27th, 2006 | | 9:53 am |
Why is my aunt so crazy?!? WHY!?!?!?
Dan, Steve, Anthony and I went over to visit my aunt and uncle for a Christmas get together a few weeks back. A lot of goofy shit came out of her mouth but I'd have to say the highlight of the evening was when we unwrapped our gifts. I got a gift certificate. My brothers got pot. And poor Dan unwrapped a package containing silk man-panties. She had told me she had gotten him socks and underwear so I was prepared for boxers, not the speedo-like black and white stretchy banana hammok things that are usually sold in a tube at meijer and have animal prints on them. H, if your reading this Kathy Ross now has a myspace profile. Shes getting married to some creepy old man, I love it. And I love it because I still hate her for no good reason. Oh, and another heart-warming peice of gossip for all you Jaq/pointdexter fans out there: I was going through my old emails that H sent me that involved all of that idiots post on LJ about her heroin usin dog beatin porn downloadin I-licked-mustard-off-my-kids-leg-and-it-w asnt-mustard ways. (I loved the mustard story so much) Anyway every now and again I click on her profile just to see if she is the same. No new entries, but when I clicked on her profile pic it led me to some photo gallery site with pictures of her, her kid and her big knocked up belly. Why do stupid people in shitty situations insist on procreating? This may be old news, and maybe I am misinterpreting the pics. But theres fetus pictures up in the gallery, I would only post a fetus picture if said fetus was currently residing in my belly. Am I right or am I right? | | Friday, January 20th, 2006 | | 6:43 pm |
Hi everybody Sorry I've been MIA for so very long, I went from being super busy with finals in December to being super lazy on X-mas break, then I went to Chicago to visit my mom and then across the state to visit Dans brother, and then its back to school. It was so good to go back home and have actual human contact again with friends and family, I loved every minute of it so coming back here hit me pretty hard, I cried the whole drive back out here. I'm not usually like that, but this stupid birth control gives me PMS for 3 weeks out of the month, which means I will cry over nothing all the fucking time. Plus I am just hating it out here a lot more lately, for me it is a depressing environment and I think I am depressed already, so the combination of all these things has really gone to my head. Its not something I really care to write about in here (If I really let loose in here and posted about the same old depressed-and-lonely shit every week it would get on your nerves. And mine. Fuck that.) So thats why I havent been posting or commenting, sorry everyone I still love you. I'm starting to think about where I am going to go after I get out of school because I'm going to need to start looking for a job in the near future. I dont really have strong ties to Michigan anymore and I think I'd like to move some place new and explore for a while, at least while I'm still young enough to do it and recover from any major mistakes. Dan is being nice and supportive on this and told me we could go wherever and do whatever just as long as I can make enough money to support his lifestyle, his lifestyle being sitting at home all day watching tv eating cheetos naked in a beanbag chair. The only thing I've really figured out is that I dont want to live in any of those rural hick states out west, or in indiana or ohio. Dan gives New York the thumbs down but I keep picturing working in some super cool botanical garden there. I like the idea of Seattle or Portland or someplace in Colorado, or one of the Carolinas. For some reason theres a lot of jobs in Pennsylvania and I actually have a friend out there already. I go back an forth between being totally excited and totally terrified about all of this stuff. Im gonna go out to eat with my brother, C-ya! | | Thursday, December 15th, 2005 | | 6:16 pm |
A little cutie pie asked if Auntie Caroline and Uncle Dan were coming for Christmas this year, and my heart just melted. I have the sudden urge to go shopping and spoil that kid rotten, I hope her mother doesnt mind. :) | | Tuesday, December 13th, 2005 | | 3:25 pm |
Random thoughts.... Im on the patch form of birth control, which I wear on the back of my right shoulder. Thanks to the fuzzy black sweater that I wore yesterday I now have a filthy looking fuzzy black ring around the perimeter of my patch, and theres nothing I can do about it until I swap patches on Friday. I was going to buy parts and have dan build my brother a computer for Christmas, but as it turns out even going the cheapest route is going to be too expensive for ne. This is really disappointing because I really wanted to get him one. I redyed my hair which turned out really good. Then I added highlights, which probably would have turned out really good too had they shown up after I put them in. I love damaging my hair for nothing. This is my last week of school and I am really frustrated with one of my professors who is always losing things - things like projects I have already turned in, which he claims he has no grade for. From what I understand this is a common occurance with him, so I always hang onto my graded assignments. This time the missing assignment in question is still in his posession, so I hope he finds it since I really dont want to do it again. I seriously need to start getting rid of my stuff, I just found a box of clothes I love that I can no longer fit into thanks to the 10 pounds I put on after I quit smoking. Since they are all so cute I stuffed my butt back into them and then hung everything back up in my closet to go back into the rotation. I just cant let shit go. My goofy coat collection has gotten out of control too, and now that its cold out I am rotating coats regularly, which means there are 4 in my car, 3 on the bedroom floor, 2 on my chair, 3 on the bed and 2 in the overstuffed closet. Next semester I have only 2 horticulture-related classes, one on woody plant phisiology and another on horticultural management - and I cant see myself really gaining much knowledge from either that I would use in a job. Which means that right now I am supposedly educated in my field and ready for a big girl job. Yet I feel like theres so much stuff left to learn that I dont know. I am counting down the days until Friday not because of seeing Dan, and not because of a break from classes, its because I can not wait to eat a sub from Nonas. I am starting to seriously think about seriously thinking about all those stupid plans you need to make when you get married. Ugh, what a headache. Carrie and Dan and I are trying to figure out a good time to visit Liz in California, which I hope is sooner than later. While we are out there Dan and I really want to check out the Winchester house since it is craaaaaaazy. If you've never heard of it and are interested I will post some links about it, I would now but my computer is being a bitch. The office is on tonight, my brother Ant turned me onto it and now Im really looking forward to the marathon of episodes we will be watching in a few weeks since he bought the first season. I really got into Lost too, thanks to Dans brother. And this season of Americas next top model hooked me in too. And nip/tuck. I cant beleive I have a line up of shows to watch, I need to get out more. I've been working on a portfolio for the East Lansing art festival, but the due date is January 20th! Luckily I have a bunch of thumbnail sketches for ideas that I can elaboarate on, a few people who are able to model for drawings that involve figures and a good source for art supplies. All I need now is the time. I hate feeling like I am about to come down with something, all day I have been cold and tierd despite 13 hours of sleep and 3 layers of clothing. Im looking forward to going out and celebrating my x-mas homecoming on Saturday with the loveliest of ladies, Jen of english gardens fame and fortune, Carrie who needs no introduction, Jenny who will undoubtebly end up half nude and little miss messy herself, Miss May. H I wish you liked going out to bars and such things, you would have fun if you came along! Tuesday night is a Christmas party for Nonas, which I am looking forward to too. | | Thursday, December 1st, 2005 | | 10:48 am |
Ahh, 16 days of the semester left. It's countdown time, folks. I have so much shit to do. Seriously - projects, papers, drawings, presentations, tests, exams. I know I will make it through (I always do, somehow) but my brain will overload and fry in the process. Thankfully there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Not a whole lot of new stuff is going on. Thanksgiving was really really great - it was just me and Dan and a shit ton of wonderful food that he made. When we went grocery shopping Wednesday night we figured we should just make stuff that we really like and didnt need to follow any traditional Thanksgiving guidelines. So we had spinich pie for a main course, au gratin potatoes, stuffing, black bean soup, crecent rolls and vegetables. We also had this turkey thing as a side dish - it was supposedly turkey, and it tasted like turkey. And it was turkey at some point, I am pretty sure of that. It was too weird though, and we thought too much about what it was and it made us sorta sick so we decided to throw it away. It was a really great 4 days, all we did was lay around playing video games, eating and watching marathons of MTV (so I got to catch up on all that stupid crap. I cant help it, I love some of those damn shows.) Saturday night I went out with Carrie. And Sunday I went to my old house for a little while. Its so creepy there at my old house. It was really gloomy and overcast that day which added to the whole effect, but the whole place just seemed creepy and abandoned. Plus theres been a couple of incidents where people obviously have been on our property and messing with our stuff which makes me feel really unsettled. And yes, violated. (Ive always heard that term used when describing a break in, and its true) Someone broke in a few months back by getting one of our windows open and cutting the screen out. Then a few weeks back my uncle and his wife found out someone (or someones) have been hanging out in this old barn in the very back of the property. There was all this weird shit in the barn too - they had made a little fire pit, and there was 4 bras and a dress and one of my old yearbooks (im not sure if the clothing was mine, i havent seen it yet) and some other goofy stuff. Its either some teenage girls or some creepster weirdo, but either way I dont like it. I was going to go check it out to see for myself what was in the barn, but I didnt want to go back there alone! Steve and I thought it would be fun to scare whoever has been hanging out there away by turning their secret hang out spot into a satan worship den. If I came back to my hiding place to find the walls drenched in pigs blood and satanic stars all over the place I'd run for the hills and never come back, I wouldnt want to run into whoever put it there! I'll keep you posted. PS....Does anyone know where I can find a goats head? | | Saturday, November 19th, 2005 | | 10:24 pm |
I wish I had my digital camera on me today after my trip to Younkers. Younkers is a department store out here, much like a Marshall Fields or a Carsons, and they were having a huge holiday sale today. Normally I avoid shopping malls in general, and if they are definatly going to be busy there is no way I would set foot in them. But I had a gift card for Younkers that was burning a hole in my pocket, and Lancome was offering a free gift with purchase that day ( FYI - Lancome teint idole is the shit of shits when it comes to foundation, and I mean that in the best way possible. Worth the 35 bucks totally) The lady at the cosmetics counter (lady, or girl? she was younger than me, so I guess that makes me a lady too, eeeew)was really nice in helping me pick out a good foundation shade and she got excited when I asked her ideas on what to wear on my eyes. I wear eye makeup all the time, and Ive stuck to the brown black greys for the last 12 years, so I was really open to suggestions. So she had me sit in the chair next to the mega huge makeup pallate with 12,000 colors and went to town. This fucking chair she had me in, it was right on the edge of the cosmetics counter and totally juts out into the main aisle of Younkers. And it was insanely busy, so I was totally surrounded by tons of people watching while this woman smeared fucking sea green sparkly eyeshadow up to my eyebrows and gooped me up with mascara. (FYI - Lancome mascara blows. Maybe its just my lashes, they are long but they arent too thick so the mascara she glopped on litterally gave me 4 or 5 big thick lashes, it was horrifying.) I have no idea what this lady was thinking putting this on me, it was that unreal. And I didnt have the heart to tell her I thought her makeup skills sucked dick. The worst part of the whole ordeal was the walk of shame to my car - I swear people stared at me like I was crazy and I wanted desperatly to hold up a sign saying explaining that this was done against my will. Ugh, I guess even when it comes to makeup if you want something done right you have to do it yourself. | | Thursday, November 3rd, 2005 | | 6:40 pm |
It took a life spent with no cellmate.........
Its funny how I go so long without feeling anything but numb, and then all of the sudden I'll unexpectedly get hit with this massive wave of emotion. I was in my lab for HRT 411 and we had to get into groups and work on an in-class assignment. If there is one thing I cant stand in school its group projects. Its always so painfully awkward for me since I dont have any friends in any of my classes, when the professor annouces group projects no one glances at me and nods their head as an unspoken sign to say 'your definatly in my group because we are friends'. So I worked by myself. This really wasnt a big deal to me at all, I would prefer it, actually. The thing is, when your working by yourself you cant slack off, and if you dont understand the material you'r really screwed because you cant expect anyone elso to cover for you. And even worse, there is now four peoples worth of work there for you to do alone. But I worked on it anyway, it wasnt too tough at first so it didnt bother me much. And I sat in the very back of the class where no one sees me anyway. The hour went on and I'm chuggin away at my problems and everyone else is starting to finish up. Half an hour after that I am the only one still working, and things are looking really grim for me. The assignment is due at the end of the class period, and I am way behind because, as usual, I am braindead when it comes to understanding how to do the assignment. Sometimes I just dont fucking get things. But thats another story. On the way out of the classroom these 2 guys were leaving. One of them stood by my desk and asked "are you working on this all by yourself?" And I said yeah, and I acted all nonchalant like it wasnt a big deal. Because to me it honestly wasnt a big deal. But something about the way he asked me, it sounded so sad. He totally sounded really sorry for me, which made the whole thing sound so depressing. And this, combined with the fact that I had no idea how to finish my work really made me get all teared up and start to panic. But I kept my shit together, the last thing on earth I'd ever want to do is cry in front of this stranger. Then the other guy approached me on his way out and asked if I needed help. And again, it just made me feel really sad and alone. It caught me totally off guard too, I dont think I have ever said a word to either of these guys even though we've had classes together for a long time now. And it really took everything I have inside me to smile and say "Thanks alot but I'm ok". Even if I really did want the help I dont think I would have been able to accept it without bursting into tears. I swear college is just like highschool. Well, I shouldnt say that exactly. But I have had classes with the same group of people for 3 years now, and its within that smaller subgroup that its just like highschool all over again. These small 3 to 4 person cliques. Being the weirdo outcast is totally ok with me, Id much rather be that than some beautiful homecoming queen. (Yes, there is a pseudo-homecoming queen in my classes. And her nickname is Barbie. NO JOKE) But since this "highschool" is on such a smaller scale, the freak club consists of only me. And up until the other day I really didnt mind it. Being at English Gardens this summer was sort of like conducting an experiment with my social skills. It took me about a month but I got pretty comfortable around there, and I got better at being friendly once people warmed up to me too. So I dont think Im totally fucked, I think a big part of this mess is my environment. Thank God I will be changing that in 8 months. I will never have to be stuck so far away from my friends and family again. | | Tuesday, October 18th, 2005 | | 8:49 pm |
Shit, I guess I'm a grown up now
Tonight I went to a career fair where there were quite a few employers for me to meet with. I am still amazed that I have gone to school and am about to start a career where I make decent money doing this shit. I guess I shouldnt speak too soon, who knows what can happen in the next 7 months, especially with the job market being what it is. But this is getting pretty exciting. One lady I really hit it off with works for a pretty big company out of Chicago, and another place I am interviewing with tomorrow morning is huge - they have branches in about 15 states, and theres major room for growth. I'm totally ready to get the hell out of school and start learning in the field again and making some money and just getting my life started already. It seems like its been on hold for so long. I just want a decent job with health insurance, and I cant wait to have my own home. Dan and I checked out some homes by his brother which really motivated us. Its been ok living in apartments and I've survived renting a room, but I want a place of my very own with my own damn yard and a fucking hammok tied to my own damn honey locust trees so I can lay around and enjoy the breeze on my day off with a big glass of sugar free grape koolaid while Dan rubs my feet. Is that too much to ask!?!?!? Fuck!!!! I am not going to get to lay in my hammok if I dont start studying for my midterms. Tune in next week. | | Saturday, October 1st, 2005 | | 7:02 pm |
Name 10 things(not in order) that bring you joy and tag 5 people you'd like to list theirs next. 1. Bonfires in my backyard with friends, music, food and drinks. 2. When my brother Steve makes me a cheeseburger on the grill while we are a-bon-fire-in. I think anything cooked on the grill is awesome and its even better when you dont have to make it yourself! 3. Sleeping in. Better yet, when I wake up early thinking I have to be at school and I get to go back to sleep because its the weekend! To which I will add to the list... 4. Weekends, or any day for that matter that I do not have to be at work or school 5. Long showers and using all sorts of fun girly shower junk. Im a sucker for any sort of potion that promises to make me smell look or feel better, even though the results are always temporary 6. Having a night to myself to watch marathons of my favorite shows while snuggled up in my bed with some good food. Lately its been the show six feet under but Ive also done all day marathons of my-so-called life and sex in the city. I usually wear my pajamas and eat toaster strudels or bowls of cereal. But Im on a fucking diet. For now. 7. Usually after I get done working on my garden I listen to some good music and sit on my front porch with a cup of coffee and just sit there and be happy and think about what else I want to plant. I miss doing that! 8. Laying in bed with Dan, especially when he rubs my back until I fall asleep and expects nothing in return. And waking up to him is another rare treat, especially when neither of us have any place to be. 9. Those rare moments of clarity when I am just ok with being who I am and just doing what I do. 10.Hanging out with my friends and laughing and just having a good time. | | Thursday, September 15th, 2005 | | 5:43 pm |
I love crap like this
Stolen from H.... 1. How tall are you? 5'2, maybe 5'3. But Im always in some sort of high heeled shoe. 2. Do you own a gun? Dan gave me an AK-47 this summer to protect me from burglers but I dont think I could bring myself to use it. 3. Rehab? Counseling? Counceling when I was around 14 for my burning teenage angst! grrrrr! 4. Have you ever killed an animal? I once ran over a possum and there have been a few squirells that have died at the mercy of my tires. And I am known for sacraficing bugs for the betterment of my insect collection. 5. Are you Irish? No. 6. What do you think of hot dogs? When I think hot dog, I think of how as a kid in elementary school I used to always go for the hot dog at lunch even though my mom told me I should order the special of the day. Being the rebelious problem child that I was, I ate hot dogs 2 to 4 days a week for lunch, all the while keeping this dietary activity a secret from my poor unsuspecting mother. My love affair with the mysterious meat lasted through most of 3rd grade. It was a happy time, those hot dog eatin days, and its something I visit often on my trip down memory lane. Viva La Hotdog!!!!! 7. What's your favorite Christmas song? I agree with H on the Bingster. That voice, whether you like it or not, IS christmas. And I like his voice, it makes me very nostolgic for these picture-perfect christmas's with my family that never really happened. Also I bought one of those cds with modern artists doing X-mas songs and I loved it, I listened to it year round and I think Carrie (who liked it as much as me) still has it! Bitch! I highly recommend these songs in particular: Chris Cornell doing Ave Maria, Tracy Chapman doing Oh Holy Night, and This one Dave Matthews song, I cant remember the name. And by the way, I HATE Dave Matthews. 8. What is your favorite smell? Dans armpit. Im being serious. And I love sandalwood 9. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Coffee 10. Do you do pushups? Nope 11. Have you ever done ecstasy? Yup 12. Have you ever been shot? "Through the heart..cause you give love- a bad name...." Jodi, I love your answer so I'm keeping it.<-----I second that emotion 13. Have you ever been hospitalized? No. 14. Do you like painkillers? Love them. 15. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex? Roofies. 16. Do you own a knife? Butterknife 17. Do you have A.D.D? During class I do. 18. Do you love the pain a tattoo brings? I'm not a big fan of pain, though I will say it didnt hurt nearly as bad as I thought it would. 19. Name Five Drinks You Regularly Drink: Coffee, diet pop 20. What's In Your CD Player? The crystals skulls cd I made for myself 21. What's Under Your Bed? shoes, dust, boxes of pictures and makeup and some paintings 22. Current Hair? Boring. Very long, blondish brown. 23. What are you wearing? Jeans, brown boots, pink tank top and white button down embroidered shirt that was my grandmas. 24. Current Worry? Passing my classes and then having to grown up and get a real job. 25. Current Love(s)? Dan, my family, my friends 26. Current Hate? How hard it is for me to make friends. 27. Favorite Place To Be? At my home in my yard - either by the fire pit or in the garden 28. Least Favorite Place To Be? In class, so far away from everyone and everything I love. Especially when its nice outside. 29. If You Could Play an Instrument? I'd like to be good at guitar but dont have the patience to keep working at it. I can finally play the intro to Janis Joplins Summertime which was my goal for the summer 30. Favorite Colors? Blue and green. 31. Person(s) from your past you wish you could be with right now? My dad, of course. 32. Where Would You Like To Go? New York, California, Australia, Colorado, Vegas, Poland, South Carolina, Florida, New Orleans for Mardi Gras, Seattle and maybe Texas 33. Where do you want to live? Ad long as its in a safe area, has a big yard and I can be as loud as I want I dont care. 34. Favorite food? My grandmas Polish cooking, I wish I could have that again! And Dennys pancakes 35. Color of most clothes you own? Black and grey 36. Number of pillows you sleep with? 4 37. What do you wear when you go to sleep? pajamas 38. What were you doing 12AM last night? Mainlining coffee, smoking pot and cutting apart and painting cardboard for a project due this morning 39. What do you think you'll be doing in 10 years? Hopefully in my own home, married, in a stable workplace and maybe a baby. Maybe. 40. Are you paranoid? Lately 41. First piercing/tattoo? Ears peicerced at I think 13, Tattoo of a scorpion at 18 42. Last person you yelled at? I honestly cant remember, its been a long time since I've yelled. Probably at Dan though. 43. Latest crush? On this guy at work. The funny thing was, I had a crush on him because he reminded me of Dan, but the Dan from 10 years ago. Long blond hair and blue eyes, beat up truck, cigarette smoke, tattoos and just the nicest voice ever. I told Dan about him too... Me: Hon, theres this guy at work, he totally reminds me of you when you were 18 or 19. Long hair and the truck and everything. Dan: Are you going to start banging him too? Me: Would that be ok? Cause it wouldnt really be cheating. It would be, like, a tribute to you! Dan: Thats fuckin great! 44. Last thing you ate? stouffers french bread grilled veggie pizza, yummmmmm 45. If you could be a pirate, would you? No thank you 46. Do you have an iPod? No, I want something very similar to it though, and I will tell you why: I would use that shit when I work out or when Im at school. It charges when you hook it up to the computer, so you dont need to burn through batteries like you do a portable cd player. SPeaking of which, you'd never need to make a mix cd again, and yes, this includes when you want to hear your shit in the car too. This is because it has an FM transmitter which means you can program your car radio to pick up what is programmed on your Ipod thingy. I've been eyeballing them for about a month now, I think they are cool as shit! 47. When and why did you last vomit? 3 weeks ago from drinking way too much. Ugh 48. What's in your pockets right now? Chapstick 49. What color are your bedroom walls? off white 50. Last thing that made you laugh? A commercial I just saw for cell phones 51. Any pets now? nope 52. Innie or an outtie? In. 53. Do you have any piercings? Just ears, 7 holes 54. If you were a crayon what color would you be? peachy 55. Have u ever won any awards? an art ribbon. scholarships for school. 57. Have you ever sprained/broken/fractured a bone or gotten stitches? I've had stitches. 58. Who do you tell your dreams to? Dan, my friends, myself 59. If you could pick one person to make out with who would it be? Im with H on the ice cream cone. 60. What do you think of the person who posted this before you? I dont just think - I happpen to know for a fact that H is the coolest person ever because she has mad playa skillz when it comes to linguistics, cracking me up, making pretty and creative thingamabobs for her pen pals, has fansuperdupertastic taste in music and stuff in general and can make me pee my pants. | | Sunday, September 11th, 2005 | | 12:05 am |
work it girl
This upcoming Tuesday I have an interview in Lansing to work for a haunted house as a scary person. How fucking fun would that be? I figure it would be relatively easy work and the hours wouldnt be too bad or for too long . My only concern is the location - it sounds like it is sort of far away and quite possibly in a bad area of Lansing. So we'll see.... I actually already have a job that my brother hooked me up with, I start on Monday. Its pretty rediculous. The Michigan department of transportation set up these new crosswalk signals at certain intersections around town and wants to moniter them to see how people are reacting to them. I dont know what makes them so special, all I know is it is my responsibility to go where these crosswalk signal are, set up a video camera on a tripod and tape people crossing the street. Thats my job, sit on the corner and make sure no one steals the camera. I'm getting used to being here at my new place. Last night I organized most of my shit so my room isnt a total disaster anymore and I'm pretty relaxed and comfortable around the lady I live with. Theres no excitement or drama here, I have yet to decide if that is as good as I think it is. I have a headache from staring at the computer and I have a new book that I cant wait to devour! Goodnight! | | Thursday, September 8th, 2005 | | 10:14 pm |
Back in action!!!
After pissing and moaning for 2 weeks I finally got my internet hooked up! Hip Hip Hooray! See, this is a big deal because..... I moved into a house that is smack dab in the middle of suburbia and so far I have yet to see a soul in this neighborhood that is not either a little kid or a middle-aged mother or a senile spinster. (And this does include my roommate too, I'm living with an older lady, not the weirdo wheel watcher) Now, this is no big deal because its not like I communicate with any other form of human life here anyway. But this suburban environment is slowly killing my eternal soul. Plus I only have basic cable. Now I understand what basic cable entails: it is your basic 7 or 8 channels everyone gets plus a bunch of useless shit channels. The channnels that do nothing but broadcast the local middle schools soccer tournements. . Oh yeah, and they throw TBS in there too, which means I can watch sex and the city (minus the sex, the nudity, the swearing and the overly sexual talk) and reruns of sitcoms such as yes, dear and everybody loves raymond. Also, I have gone all summer without the internet so I am bored to death of my cds and music files. I just returned from the ghettos of Lansing where my brother Steve and I had gone on a thrift store excursion. I really wish I had brought my camera to capture the magic the way Courtney did with the dollar store. I would have loved to acompany this journal entry with a picture of the fitting room that have signs on the door saying "PLEASE DO NOT USE THIS FITTING ROOM AS A REST ROOM". It scares me to think that past events have made that sign necessary. Which, on that note, can one of you guys tell me honestly if it is difficult to post pics on here? If it isnt tricky (and I really mean it, I am easily tricked) can someone give me a crash course? Dan lent me his digital camera and I think I'd be a lot more into using it if I had something cool to do with the pictures. Something cool like, say, post them in my LJ. | | Monday, August 8th, 2005 | | 7:53 pm |
The weather was completely perfect last night so Carrie and I went down to Royal Oak to walk around and drink fancy overpriced coffees and carrot juices like a couple of suckers. I ended up running into my old art teacher from highschool, the one and only Glenn Corey. Heather, you have a scanner, you should post a pic of him so Jodi and Courtney can see with their own eyes what words can not describe. See, while I would normally go into one of my stories about Mr. Corey (the stupid shenanigans pulled in class, the fascination he had with me, the art project I turned in that featured a picture of him as a half-man-half-squirell......wait, now THATS a good story. I'm going to have to tell that one later.....) I think a visual aid of him would really send the message home. Because on top of acting creepy (he used to stand in the doorway to his classroom during passing time, leaning against the door with one hand on his hip and the other hand up high on the door frame, so if you wanted to get into the classroom you had to pass under his arm and possibly cause body contact with his side and his firey loins. At least I did, did he make you do that too H?) On top of acting creepy he had a creepster look to him too with his creepy-ass creepster eyes and hair like pubes. And he drove a mini van with wood paneling and taught girls tennis. I have to stop writing about this and go take a shower. P.S. I only know he drove a mini van with wood paneling because Carrie had him as a tennis coach and she told me about it. Its not like I ever saw it or was in the back of it or anything. I swear. |
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